He's a Cowboy Casanova
by Lil'Pervert
Summary: Sakura Haruno needs someone to spice up her life her wish is granted when Sasuke Uchiha transfers to Konoha Prep HighSchool. Will her wish really fulfill her need for that edge...or will someone else show up? how will that turn out? Workin' on it
1. Chapter 1 What a Cowboy Casanova!

**HOLD IT! BEFORE YOU CONTINUE LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ANY OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS, THOSE BELONG TO ****Masashi Kishimoto.**

**I DO NOT OWN THE SONG Cowboy Casanova EITHER THAT BELONGS TO Carrie Underwood**

**NOW THAT I GOT THAT STRAIGHT...READ MAH STUFF FOO'**

**--Lil'Pervert

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**

**Chapter 1!- What a Cowboy Casanova**

**-Sakura's POV-  
**

The senior hallway of Kohana Prep High School was filled with jolly laughter. Of course it was time for library the time when everyone is going nuts not a single care in the fricken' world. Hmm...Typical.

That's my life typical laughter and randomness...sure i do like it but i need that edge i need that someone...hmm

"Hey Sakura..." said Hinata, the girl with eyes the shade of a full moon that can captivate you if you stare at them too long and long luscious purple tinted hair.

"What's up, Hinata?" I asked.

"Oh uhm...Ino has news for you." she replied and left.

Of course Ino always has some info for me. The boys stopped in their tracks to take a good look at the girl with deliciously smooth french vanilla skin, eyes the color of aquamarine tropical waves, and hair so blonde you'd mistake it for the color of flower petals.

"Sakura baby~!" I instantly smiled. Ino can always lift me from my "moods".

"Yeah Sweetie what's up?" i replied

"Did you hear about the new exchange student?" she purred.

Mmm...new meat huh...? Heh heh heh...My inner said.

"Really now is it a Boy or a Girl?" I took out my iPod touch but decided to take the headphones out.

"It's a boy. No wait a man...and what a man he is."

I decided to purr myself and started playing Cowboy Casanova

I started singing my favorite part.

**_He's a good time, cowboy Casanova! _**

**_Leaning up against the record machine…_**

I felt a nudge and it was Ino looking at something not something someone!

The song kept on playing

**_He looks like a cool drink of water_**

**_He's a candy coated misery _**

I looked up.

"Damn..." Ino and I said in unison. He had dark piercing onyx colored eyes with spiky jet black hair that reminds you of a raven's wings in the light and a badass attitude that says "I can make you squirm under me if I felt like it"

"Shit."I whispered.

"What is it Sakura?" Ino asked.

I had that itch...She was coming.

"What the hell is everyone starin' at?!"

"Shit it's the bitch..."We said in unison again

It was Karin. She's girl with the sourest and the most boy obsessed attitude ever.

She has the hair and eye color of ripe strawberries and strong piercing features about her body that can just catch your eye. With sharp glasses that give an "I'm a bitch so what" vibe just to put the cherry on top.

She stopped in her tracks she saw him too.

I saw her push up her chest

"What a whore..." Ino said

"I know right?" I replied secretly. We watched in silence

"So what's your name stranger?" she purred and it made my skin crawl.

"Hn." he simply replied.

"Can't talk huh?! Well forget you then!" she stormed off

"Daaaaaaamn!" Naruto and Kiba said in unison.

I snickered to myself they can always make me laugh.

I pushed play by accident while he was walking by:

**_He's the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes _**

**_And he only comes out at night._**

**_Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight!_**

**_You better run for you life._**

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and make my iPod shut up but I couldn't...Dang it! I stared at him.

He smirked at me and walked away.

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**-Sasuke's POV-**

Damn...do I really need to go to this school?" I asked my annoying brother Itachi

"Of course little sibling you'll like it there." I heard there's a lot of chicks." he said with a suggestive grin

"Hn." I smirked I got to make sure that my skills won't get rusty on me.

"Alright I'll go." I picked up my book bag and set out to Kohana Prep High

At Kohana Prep High-

Hn... the uniforms aren't half bad...the girls have some nice short skirts and knee high socks. with a white blouse with a color to match with the Prep s

"Tsk, typical" There were girls staring, the usual, so I smirked at one and she fainted.

I looked at the schedule I was given. 'Senior Hallway, Locker #16"

"Hmm...Alright Senior Hallway..." I looked and heard the buzz and chattering commotion so I followed it.

"It's the Senior Hallway alright..."

I heard music and singing playing so I got curious and saw her and another that caught my attention

The first girl had long bubble gum colored hair with pastel green colored eyes that have a piercing stare and a cotton candy scent to match with an amazing figure

The other had a honey suckle scent coming from her with a steaming shape and aquamarine colored eyes that you can get lost in with flowing blonde hair that reminds you of the sun's powerful rays.

Before I could say anything I was interrupted by some Thing. Boy it was a thing...her vibe screams bitch..I can't stand that type.I saw her push up her chest and heard a small rustle...toilet paper how pathetic.

"So what's your name stranger?" she purred. I wanted to gag. My eyebrows furrowed.

"Hn" was my only reply

I saw her face turn into the same color of her hair and heard her shouting something that I obviously didn't pay attention to and stormed off.

I heard the same song again and saw little miss bubble gum fiddling with her iPod trying to silence it.

She stared at me so I smirked and walked off

This is gonna be good.

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**STAY TUNED FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF- FORGET IT.**

**REVIEWS ARE LIKE HOT SEXY PANCAKE SEX.**


	2. Chapter 2 Mission Seemingly Impossible

**I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS TO NARUTO. THEY BELONG TO KISHIMOTO I JUST MAKE THEM DO MY BIDDING...**

**Bad Romance BELONGS TO Lady Gaga. ITS NOT MINE! O__O **

Chapter 2- Mission Seemingly Impossible

Sakura's Pov-

We were all coming back from library bless Ino's soul she managed to talk to the stranger but

said that she couldnt get his name...so her,Hinata, and I deviced a plan

"Baby we need to get him to sit with us at lunch and tag him down!"Ino said

"Hmm...nice idea but how?" i said.

"We can just ask him!" Hinata said.

"Yeah but who's gonna ask?" Ino countered

They both turned their heads to me... Shitfuck.

"Fine! geez." i sighed and looked for that spikey haired stranger.

"I see him guys...wish me luck" I huffed.

I walked up to him next to his locker and looked at the number.

"#16 huh.."i said out loud.

"Who wants to know?" he said and i stared right at him. Double Shitfuck!

I quickly shook my head.

"Me. I'm Sakura Haruno." I pulled some of my pesky hair from my face

"Hn. Sasuke Uchiha." he replied and went back to packing his locker

I peeked inside. Sheesh! kind of the unorganized type.

"Wanna sit at my friends' table at lunch? Its pretty outgoing."I hope im tagging him down.

"I dont know." he replied

"Please! It'll give you a head start to knowing everyone!"I pulled at his arm. I gave him my pleading stare

"Fine fine." He sighed

"Thank you~!" i turned around and mouthed a yes!

I heard Bad Romance and pulled out my phone. I didnt pick it up right away because i wanted to hear our favorite part.

I want your love and

I want your revenge

I want your love

I don't wanna be friends

Je veux ton amour~

Et je veux ta revanche

Je veux ton amour

I don't wanna be friends

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!

I don't wanna be friends

(Caught in a bad romance)

I don't wanna be friends

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!

Want your bad romance

(Caught in a bad romance)

Want your bad romance!

I answered to see it was a text message.

I snickered since Temari sent me a photo of Garra leaping in the air with a teddy bear.

"Wow...that Temari is something else." Temari is supposed to be here by lunch since she had to go home to the Sand village two days ago.

I sighed. I couldn't wait for my Temari to come back home to the Hidden Leaf village so I bother her

I smiled. Then I frowned here it comes.

I moved away a little because a hand slammed my locker door. Guess who it was? Ring-a-Ding Ding. Karin.

"Why the hell are you all up on my man?"she demanded.

"Last time I checked your ass got shut down." I sneered.

"You better back the hell up off of him or I'll cut you up with my kunais." she warned.

"I dare you to bitch." I stood up straight and stared her straight into the eyes.

She rose her hand up to slap me but i screamed" Ino!"

"Fuck off whore!" Karin was down for the count. Oh the 'Ino Smack Down'.

One powerful smack to the back of the head with those hands and you're .

I was busy snickering too much before i felt someone getting close to me. I had a kunai as a necklace under my shirt just in case but for me to get it in time would be a tad too late.

I blushed because of more than one thing. One my chest was being squeezed. Two? Well lets just say my bad romance came a little bit early to the Hidden Leaf village.

"Sakura!" I heard her exclaim.

"Hi Temari!" i replied as my blush settled down.

I was put into a death hug

"Gak!" I managed to choke out.

"Sorry!" Temari let go. As I was gasping for precious air I felt someone near me.

I could recognize that red hair anywhere...

"Garra~!" I screamed.

"Hi Sakura...I can see that Temari got to you first." He inquired.

"Yep!" I stared at Temari's sibling with his red apple hair and pale sky blue eyes with dark rings around them. I poked his sand gorge.

"Poke." I said.

Garra sighed "You haven't changed huh."

"You only left for like 2 and a half days!" i exclaimed "Come on now!"

"Hmm..the "Ino SmackDown?" His gaze turned to Karin's unconscious body.

"Yep!" Ino answered proudly. "She deserved it." she said nonchalantly.

I turned around to see Garra and Temari on the floor. 'How do they do that?' I anime sweat dropped.

"Help please?" Garra pleaded.

"Ugh..Temari leave the incest at home!" I whined

Temari stopped in her tracks, she had that look on her face. I knew what was coming.

"But but...Sakura!" She began to whine.

"No." i replied"But that's not fair look at him!" she pointed to Garra who just stood their waiting to hear his fate.

"No. You know how the seniors react to sex and incest is one of those 'sexual encounters', so save it for home."

"Fine!" she pouted and almost knocked me out with that giant fan of hers.

"Sheesh Temari." I sighed. "Garra i tried i bit." I sweat dropped.

"Thanks you did your best." he replied warily

I gasped. The plan! I ran to Hinata and Ino to try and figure out the next part of the plan.

Ino's POV

"Alright you guys know the plan?" I asked?

"Yeah" answered Hinata.

"Run it by me again?" Sakura asked

Dang…Montage time!

[Commence Mission Impossible music]

"Sakura you convinced Sasuke to come to our table good.

Hinata needs to make sure others don't convince him to go to their table, yes?"

"Gotcha" they both said.

"What about you Ino what's your part in our seemingly impossible mission?" Sakura asked.

"Easy…Drag our victim to the table."

"Get it?" I asked proudly?

"Got it!" Sakura and Hinata replied and sprang into action.

**AT THE LUNCH TABLE! O3O**

"Oh man I'm so tired!"Sakura said.

"Me too." I replied

"Me three" Hinata agreed.

**[A/N: Italics are for the P.A. system]**

_Students of Konoha Prep High School._

_After lunch all students are to go to their lockers pack up and head home._

_Do not stay after school due to the staff meeting. That means bring all your ramen packs home._

_That means you Naruto. *Chuckle* Have a nice day._

"Sweet!",I said "I can't wait to get home and sleep!"

"I gotta go to Temari's house tonight." Sakura said.

"I need to go home and study." Hinata said.

"Alrighty then bye guys!" Sakura said then left.

**END ROFL FOR THIS CHAPTER FOO' PREVIEW TIMEEEEEEEE CHAPTA THREE**

**Sakura's POV At Temari's house! woo~**

-Crash!- "Come on Garra!" Temari whined

I chuckled. They're at it again.

"No Temari stop!" Garra groaned.

**I KNOW IT SUCKED BUTT, HOWEVER I WAS IN A RUSH. STAY TUNED FOR ANOTHER UNEXCITING CHAPTER OF COWBOY CASANOVA. REVIEWS ARE SMEXY STRAWBERRIES. :3 **


	3. Chapter 3 An Almost Threesome?

**Chappie 3 - An Almost Threesome?**

Lil'pervert:UGH My back!

Sasori: What the hell are you talking about...? You're acting like you actually did work.

Lil'pervert: Shut up you. Its time for bed and Im in that mood.

Sasori:Sigh- Must we?

Lil'pervert: Yes now say the disclaimer i know you hate making me wait

Sasori: -Groan- Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Lil'pervert just likes to mess with the characters to her own personal enjoyment.

Lil'pervert:I HEARD THAT. Less talkie more smexie my scorpion. -Purrrr-

Sasori:-sigh- Kami-sama...

Lil'pervert:You can say that in bed. Lets go!

**DISCLAIMER**: What Sasori said.

**LETS GO ON WITH DA SHOW!**

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**Sakura's POV.

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**

-Groan- My back…-sigh- "I gotta go to temari's house anyway."

-Cheezy handsign- LAZY PERSON POOFER JUSTU! :D

**At Temari's house! woo~**

-Boom!- "Come on Gaara!" Temari whined.

I chuckled. They're at it again.

"No Temari stop!" Gaara groaned.

"Pleaseeee!?!" She pleaded again

"No!" he shouted.

"I'll make it worth your while!" she sang.

"Oh god could you guys cut the incest for one visit?" I laughed.

Temari and Gaara both stopped in their tracks.

"Hey thereee" I smiled, I stopped however because I felt something was gonna happen.**[A/N: I'll cue you when the something happens.]**

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**Gaara's POV kewl…BEFORE AND WHILE SAKURA POOFED IN  
**

"No Temari I can't handle anymore rounds." I panted

"Gaara please…?" Temari groaned.

"Fine…" I sighed…"Shit."

"Temari!" Sakura shouted.

"Whaaaat?" Temari whined.

"I've been calling out for you and..Incest again?! He must be tired by now." She countered

"No he's not tired. Right Gaara?!" she remarked.

"Wrong" I said. "Excuse me Sakura." I didn't mind getting dressed since she walked in on Temari and me once and saw it all. Temari asked her to join us however she said that she'll think about it. But she never replied to the offer. I was almost outside of the bedroom then I heard the question.**[A/N:Here comes the something!]**

"Sakura are you willing to play with us this time?" Temari purred.

"I don't know Temari since I already butted in." Sakura sighed.

"Then you can make up for it by joining us." She countered

It was silent for that moment. I was leaning against the door post. 'I wouldn't know what to do if Sakura said yes. Its not that I don't want to…However I'm not used to her body so I wouldn't know what to do in order to please her like I do Temari.'

"Maybe I sho-" Her answer was interrupted by a call.

"Hello..?, Yes…I understand thank you." She let out a sigh and ended the call.

"Sorry guys I got to go back to the Leaf." She sighed.

"You don't have to goooo…" Temari was using her purr. Crap the excitement is coming back…

"I need to. Maybe another time ok?" I heard the bed creak to see Sakura being bitten my sister. When she was done there was a huge blush on her face.

"Ok then next time you wont back out and I'll make sure of it." Temari said.

"Fine fine…"Sakura mumbled while making hand signs and vanished under a cloud of smoke.

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**AT THE LEAF~! :D**

-Sigh- "I can't believe I almost said yes." "GRAAAAH!" I punched a nearby boulder and watched it crumble. I ran to my house in order to figure out what's going on. I destroyed one more boulder and went to my front door. I opened the door to hear a chuckle "You never change do you...Little Cherry Blossom"

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**ZOMG WHO THE HECK IS IN SAKURA'S HOUSE? I KNOW IT'S SUPER SHORT, HOWEVER I NEED IDEAS X__X ROFLASAUR. :3 STAY TUNED FOR ANOTHER UNEXCITING CHAPTER OF HE'S A COWBOY CASANOVA. REVIEWS ARE SPARKLING MANGO SHERBET. :3 **


	4. Chapter 4 Scorpion

Lil'Pervert: WHEEE I POST THIS CHAPTER IN THE NAME OF MY REVIEWERS. Because their reviews made meh happy. Take it away Sasori!*points dramatically with a microphone

Sasori: Ugh…

Lil'Pervert: DO IT!

Sasori: 'Lil'Pervert's'…MUST I DO THIS?!

Lil'Pervert : YES SAY IT HOW I TAUGHT YOU OR I'LL PUT YOUR HAIR UP IN PIGTAILS.

Sasori: "Lil'Pervert's Super Uber Special Fantastical…-sigh- Reviewers are: (in alphabetical order): **Alexkatia**: **C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only**: **gothic bunny-chan**: **nassima123**: and **Twisted Musalih**

Lil'Pervert: Yayyyyy! Thankies for the reviews. HAPPY NEW YEAR O__O

Sasori: You so owe me..

Lil'Pervert: Your nickname is the chapter title! Nyehhh.

Sasori: YAYYYYY!

Lil'Pervert: -Stares in shock and awe

Sasori: Moment of weakness…

Lil'Pervert: Ok then I'll say the disclaimer_**. Lil'Pervert Does NOT Own Naruto in any shape, way, and/ or form. That's **__**Masashi Kishimoto's **__**Job since he owns them! Lil'Pervert ALSO does NOT **_**own Miku Hatsune**_** or the song **_**Miku Miku Ni Shite Ageru**_**. They belong to **__**Nico Nico Douga, Crypton Future Media, and Vocaloid2 Character Vocal Series**__**. PLEASE AND I DONT OWN DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION EITHER IT BELONGS TO ITS OWNER. DON'T SUE ME. **_

DISCLAIMER: WHAT I JUST SAID.

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Chapter FO' PART ONE.(*clears throat*) Four!: Scorpion, New Assignments and New Years.

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LAST TIME WITH SAKURA O__O

_-Sigh- "I can't believe I almost said yes." "GRAAAAH!" I punched a nearby boulder and watched it crumble. I ran to my house in order to figure out what's going on. I destroyed one more boulder and went to my front door. I opened the door to hear a chuckle "You never change do you...Little Cherry Blossom"_

**Sakura's POV (HURRAY FOR RANDOM DIALOGE!)**

I gasped. Is it true? Is he really here?

"What? Can't give the puppet master a hug now and then?"

"Sasori!" I cried out in glee and glomped him.

"Kami-sama! Little Cherry Blossom you sure have grown." Sasori said with a small smile.

Its been three years since I've seen Sasori due to his assassination mission but he finally came back home!

"You know what it means that your home yes?" I said with a daring tone

"Oh I know…" Sasori replied with a devilish grin

"DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION VOCALOID EDITION"we said in unison(curse my imagination)

We both ran into the basement. Our game center to the DDR station and I chose 'Miku Miku Ni Shite Ageru'We both glared at each other when the song started.

"I am sooo gonna whoop your ass.." I said full of myself

"Try me Pinky!" Sasori sneered

I gasped 'Pinky?!' "We'll see about that TERMITE!"

The song started[A/N: I LOVE ROSETTA STONE O__O I'll translate it into English for ya kinda…that's why there's Wikipedia because im a newbie.._Italics are for what's happening in the story I'll tell you when everything is back to normal :D_]

Kagaku no genkai o koete ----- ENGLISH MWAHA---- Exceeding the boundary of science

Watashi wa kitan da yo I have come

Negi wa tsuite nai kedo I don't have a leek, however

Dekireba hoshii na If it's possible, I would like to have one

_The song continued_

"_Shoot she's gotten better" Sasori thought_

"_I am soooo kicking his ass." I sang in my head_

Ano ne, hayaku Dear, could you please hurry up?

Pasokon ni irete yo Install me into your PC

Doushita no? What's the matter?

PACKAGE zutto mitsumeteru You have been forever staring at the package

_[A/N:LET THE SWEATING COMMENCE]_

_They were both sweating bouncing frantically in order to get the right moves Sakura glared at the puppet master as he continuously hi t the right keys._

Kimi no koto You,

Miku miku ni shite ageru I'll make you Miku-Miku-ed

Uta wa madane, ganbaru kara I have no song yet, but I'll try hard

Miku miku ni shite ageru I'll make you Miku-Miku-ed

Dakara chotto kakugo o shitete yo ne Therefore, make yourself prepared a little

Shite ageru kara I'll make you...

_They turned around simultaneously never missing a beat. 'I HAVE TO WIN' they both thought_

_[A/N: my imagination is goin' wild O__O_

Miku miku ni shite yan yo I'll get ya Miku-Miku-ed

Saigo made ne, ganbaru kara I'm trying my best until the end

Miku miku ni shite yan yo I'll get ya Miku-Miku-ed

Dakara chotto yudan o shite agete So please neglect my mistake for a little while  
Mikku miku ni shite ageru I'll make you Miku-Miku-ed

Sekai juu no dare, dare yori More than anyone, anyone else in the world

Miku miku ni shite ageru I'll make you Miku-Miku-ed

Dakara motto watashi ni utawasete ne! So please let me sing more! xD

[A/N: BACK TO NORMAL]

They both collapsed on the DDR stage gasping for precious air

"Holy crap…"I gasped eyes closed but stiffened up when I felt something warm against me…or someone.

"Tell me about it…however look at the screen" Sasori pointed out while pulling me up onto his lap.

I gasped. _He's lying…IMPOSSIBLE I LOST?! BY 200 POINTS?! and why am I straddling him…?_

"_**HECK YEAH SEX TIME. COME ON SAKI YOU WAITING THREE FLIPPIN' YEARS FOR THIS!"Inner Sakura yelled.**_

"_**Shut up!"**_

"_**BUT THINK ABOUT IT SAKI! REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU TWO DID IT?! YOU COULDN'T GET UP AND WALK FOR 2 HOURS WHO KNOWS HOW LONG IT WILL BE THIS TIME!?"**_

I shivered at the thought but stared at Sasori while having a blush on my face.

"What's wrong Saki?" he stared at me.

"B-Betsuni(Nothing.)" I said and began to get up but stopped when my hand was grabbed

**UNSOUR LEMON ALERT! ROFL IF YOU WANT YOU CAN SKIP TO THE PART THAT SAYS 'LITTLE LEMON OVER XD' BUT IF YOUR A PERVERT LIKE ME. THEN YOU'LL READ IT ALLLLL.**

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"Now hold on Saki aren't you forgetting what happens to the loser?" Sasori purred into my ear.

'_DAMN IT…!'_ I gulped and stared at him while Inner Sakura was screaming her lungs out.

"Sasori..?" I yelped when i was being carried bridal style

"I am so gonna make you scream for your danna." He grinned.

_'Nooooooooooooo!_' '_**YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS' inner sakura screamed  
**_

Before i knew it i was thrown on the couch with Sasori hovering on top of me.

"Sasori we can't!" I gasped while i was getting a hickie.

"And why can't we...it is only us after all." he said into my neck.

"B-Because it's been to long i can't possibly do it again!" i managed to gasp out

"Dont worry i'll go easy on you." he said while lifting my legs up onto his shoulders.

'This can't be happening not now! i have to go to school and added to that i have a mission-

"Oh Kami-sama" i cried out when i felt something slender slide into me.

"That's it Saki..."he said while he pushed his fingers further into me

"Stop it Sasori" i begged.

"You know there's only one way to make me stop Saki and we both know you can never do it....well not in this position." he explained while thrusting his fingers in and out

'_Kami-sama at this rate i'll explode!_' [A/N: That's what she thinks.]

'Hmm she's ready' Sasori thought

I gasped when i suddenly felt the withdrawl, I shook my head in order to get a few bangs away from my face to stare at the Scorpion of torture that was looking at me with lust filled eyes

"Sorry blossom but i have to" he said while looking at me with pleading yet glazed over eyes.

I sighed "Yeah..I understand..." I braced myself for what was about to come next but not this!

Sasori lifted my leg up by holding onto my ankle and stared at me for a little but before we could even get any further...our mission buzzers went off[A/N: YEAH BUZZERS. You should've known this would be a random fanfiction.]

SASORI'S POV [A/N: Oh his smexyness...]

I was so close to screwing her to insanity but i was interrupted by a new mission alert. Tsk i hate making people wait..especially my Saki...I'll answer it later..i have to do this now i've waiting three years for this...so much waiting its driving me insane!

"Sorry Saki" i said while tearing off her skirt

TO BE CONTINUED...! DANANANANANANAAAAA!

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TO BE CONTINUED…I GAVE YOU 1..2..ERM… 3 AND 1 QUARTER WORTH OF STORY TIME DUE TO MY WILD IMAGINATION THAT'S THE REWARD FOR REVIEWERS AND READERS LIKE YOU. :3! LIKE SERIOUSLY I AM PROUD OF MYSELF. I WAS SQUEEZING THIS IN FOR THE NEW YEARS. I'LL PUT PART 2 WHEN IM NOT LAZY AND TIRED

REVIEWS ARE LIKE INSPIRATION~!


	5. Chapter 5 Am I forgetting something?

IM LAZY I SHALL REFER TO MYSELF AS L.P. FOR NOW ON UNTIL I FEEL LIKE IT OTHERWISE XD

L.P.: I NO FINISH DA LEMON FOO'

Sasori: - Panting-

L.P.: What's up with you. Its not even sex time yet

Inner Sakura: Sex time~! woo woo! finally wooo wooo!

L.P.: BACK INTO YOUR DOMAIN YOU.

Inner Sakura:Tears own shirt- semi streaks- NEVER

Sasori: I was chasing that one...that's why i was panting...on another note why are you still up? Its 9:55pm Eastern time...you were supposed to be in bed.

L.P.: I know i was supposed to be in bed with you. now shaddap im workin on mah story

Sasori: They're reading you know.

L.P.: Who?

Sasori: The readers...

L.P.: I know that o3o

Alexkatia: Oh sex sex sex! Time to see people get freaky! yeah yeah baby!

Sasori: Kami-sama

L.P.: SHE UNDERSTANDS ME. AND NOW ALEXKATIA WILL SAY THE DISCLAIMER!- cue sexy salsa music-

Alexkatia in a sexy outfit and accent: oh mami! you know the disclaimer, we no own naruto!mami!

L.P. Aye aye aye~!

Alexkatia:or the papi-coulas out there! but we make them sexy eh?

L.P. Aye Alejandro!

Sasori: Kami-sama..

L.P. and Alexkatia: That's what he said!

L.P. HAHAHA

Alexkatia in a ghetto voice:but stay off of pain cause he's mine...bitchhhhhhhh

L.P. yeah son.

Alexkatia: -Goes up to pain and humps his leg- oh yeah oh yeah

L.P. and Sasori stares at Pain and Alexkatia: God...they said in unison

Alexkatia: Ok im done.

L.P. alright then!SASORI GET BACK INTO POSITION

Sasori: Alright I'm going...

_**DISCLAIMER: WHAT ALEXKATIA MANAGED TO SAY XD ROFL. LIL'PERVERT DOES NOT OWN NARUTO IT BELONGS TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER AND THAT'S **_**MASASHI KISHIMOTO**_** so yeah..**_**.DONT SUE ME.!**_**  
**_

LET'S GO ON TO THE SHOW....FREEZE

L.P. I MUST EXPLAIN WHY I HIATUSED THIS STORY....I LOST INSPIRATION. BUT KNOWING HOW MUCH YOU GUYS ARE HORN DOGS IM GONNA ADD THIS CHAPTER AND ONE MORE. AND THEN CONTINUE WORKING ON The Lust Monster.

Sasori: Oh be quiet woman and post this story.

Deidara: Un!

L.P. OMG *glomp

Sasori: And then the suicide bomber shows up...

Deidara: BLOWING UP STUFF IS FUN THOUGH UN!

L.P.: I sorry Sasori but DeiDei is right...EXPLODIN SHITNITZ IS FUN.

L.P's and DeiDei's super awesome high five! WOO!

Sasori: Oy...back to the story..

**HI HO LETS GO!**

**WAIT ONE SECOND! Ok....I know i'm a lazy piece of crap right? So im gonna finish this part...and O__o Make it random. Im sorry school is reaching its hectic moments... Whee...Ok now..!**

**HI HO LETS GO! xD  
**

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_LAST TIME WITH OUR SEX CRAZED MANIACS_

_ I was so close to screwing her to insanity but i was interrupted by a new mission alert. Tsk i hate making being wait..especially my Saki...I'll answer it later..i have to do this now i've been waiting three years for this...so much waiting its driving me insane!_

_"Sorry Saki" i said while tearing off her skirt._

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(WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW WITH SASORI'S POV :D)

I was staring at her with so much lust i thought my hard on was screaming at me i looked down to see the pink haired vixen staring up at me with the same lustful look in her eyes. Poor Saki never changed once we get into it she's just so absorbed into it she doesn't know what to do with herself...Speaking of which i don't have self control either...i hate waiting enough thinking!

"Saki are you sure you'll let me do this...? You don't want to move somewhere else or stop?" i asked one last time.

"N-no just do it i don't care" she said breathlessly.

"If you say so." I said while pushing her panties aside. I'll be sure to take them off her when they get in the way.

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**Sasori's POV dude...its continued o3o**

I glanced up at her one last time before I plunged myself deep inside of her. 'Damn it she's fucking tight...' I waited for just a little while for her to adjust to me and started to thrust in and out of her slowly. I dipped my head close to her and heard every moan and gasp of pleasure that came out of that naughty mouth of hers. I let out a long groan when she suddenly tightened around me

"Feels good doesn't it Saki?" I managed to pant out.

"Y-yeah..." She replied while turning her head.

I wonder if I should keep going. I looked down at her..panting,her pastel pink hair fanning everywhere, and her body is glistening with sweat...shit..looking at her would make you wanna blow. I don't need to worry about getting her pregnant...so I could fuck her with full force if I felt like it...matter of fact i do. I pulled her legs up higher which made her feel oh so tight, while she let out a cry of ecstasy. I thrust deeper into her faster and faster while her cries started to make a pattern. Mewls to moans it all sounded so fucking good...

I clenched my teeth while pounding into her faster and started to break a sweat...how did we not even cum yet? I need to try a little harder...maybe then my Saki will cum nice and hard for me.

"Saki...I want to try something.." I lifted her up,pressed her against the wall and start pounding into her before she could consent with my offer. She started screaming and I could comply...it felt so fucking good...Kami-sama

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Sakura's POV...**[A/N:]might not be alot.. she's screaming her head off at the moment.**

Oh Kami-sama I never knew I'd miss this feeling...Its like the blood in my body is going through a sudden rush...my chest wont stop rising and falling i tried to blink out of my haze but I couldn't Sasori was just pleasuring me so much I couldn't handle it..any longer and I'm going to explode! I gasped and turned my head towards the door when I heard a sudden click..._Shit! I can't have anyone seeing me in this position I don't know what I'd do_...I crouched my head down and buried my face in Sasori's red velvet colored locks. "Please...don't open the door please..." I managed to croak out with a tired throat. I heard the door crack open..._No no please...I don't want this to stop yet especially not by an unexpected guest_ I tilted my head back to cry out. It felt like the wind was knocked out of me..I felt so good like I was wrapped up in a warmth I felt my eyes roll back but it felt like white fireworks were exploding in my eyes..blood was pounding so hard in my ears all I heard was a ringing..I felt Sasori's fingers running through my hair and gave me a chaste kiss before I blacked out I felt him shoot into me _Shit..._

**Later after Sakura blacked out...oh yeah! Sakura's Pov still~**

I sat up and grabbed my head.

"Oh...my head..." I moaned while scratching my pink locks. While i was blinking the epic sleep out of my eyes i realized something...why the hell am I naked? Once I thought about that my head flashed back to those dried blood colored eyes staring at me before I blacked out. Shivers ran down my spine at the thought..._..I am soooo not getting horny again._ I thought. I looked around to remember where I was..."Oh...the basement." I quickly recollected. I stretched my aching arm to reach my boots and slid them on. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror to check for any damage..and boy was there some damage. "Where the fuck did i get that?!" I screamed at the mirror? I was looking at the angry red hickey on my neck that looked like a blazing red neon light screaming "Look I Had Some Angry Sex!" I groaned and went upstairs

Completely ignoring that I was in the buff. I fixed my hair to at least cover my boobs...its not like they aren't nice boobs...im just paranoid. I went into my room and closed the door behind me only to find Sasori on my bed. Great! How wonderful. I sighed and walked to my dresser. Something was bothering me. I huffed and slammed my hands on the dresser causing all the perfume bottles to jump and topple over. "What was that all about?" I asked without looking at him. "Look Saki..." He began. I really didn't want to hear it so i fished out some underwear. Hooray my favorite pair white with little rainbows on them. Obviously not bothered by my nudity I was patiently waiting for the answer. "Saki I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself." I scoffed like I hadn't heard that from him before. "Sure thing, pally." I quickly slid my undies on and threw a bra at him. Gosh!

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**Sasori's POV.**

I stared at her when she walked into her room naked but with those boots on. Hmm..I wonder what's up with her and those boots. She started fuming and rustling through her drawers and asked me "What was that about?" I was struggling for Some kind of answer but all i could come up with was the usual "Saki I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself." she gave me the scoff and occupied herself with something, then she threw her bra at me. Once she managed to throw something at me I knew i was forgiven. I feel like I'm forgetting something but I don't know what it was.

"Are you going to put some clothes on anytime soon?" Sakura asked with mock concern.

"Oh you know you love it when I'm so exposed like this. I pressed my back against her bed. "Take me Saki I'm ready for you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs just to bother her. "Oh my gosh you annoying pig sack of shit!" she screamed while she pounded me with a sack of potatoes. Yep. She forgave me. But what exactly was I forgetting...

* * *

**SOMEWHERE IN THE DISTANCE**

"I'm so going to kill that fucking jerk!" a woman screamed while staring at the window to the room of where Sakura and Sasori were in.

TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN.

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Rofl i needed to post something! xD besides I'm brain storming so this was short ok?! Don't blame me...3

REVIEW OR NO CHAPPIE UPDATIE. I MEAN IT.

P.S. THE HEADER...(Little episode before the chapter was soooo old!)

P.S.S I LIKE CHOCOLATE.

P.S.S.S I'M PLANNING ANOTHER FRICKEN STORY...CAUSE IM WEIRD LIKE THAT.


	6. Chapter 6 What a friendly conversation

L.P: *sobs* I am so touched by the reviews I got xD

Sasori: She is...the woman just won't shut up

L.P: *obviously ignores that comment. Oh my goodness for all of those comments even though I am soooo late because i procrastinate(that rhymes!) I'm gonna make another chappie just for the reviewers! Whee I knew reviews could be inspiration.

Sasori: Right...

L.P: I feel like mixing soda with some pop rocks right about now..if I could only get my hand on a pack of em.

Sasori: You know that you can't find them...you're easily distracted.

L.P: NO I AM NOT EASILY DISTRA- *speck of dust floats by,tries clapping my hands to catch it

Sasori: Sigh***_ Lil' Pervert Does NOT own Naruto we belong to our owner...she just loves to manipulate the characters for her and her reviewers enjoyment. Remember this story is rated M...so if a lemon suddenly appears or vulgar language you will enjoy it. So help me or I will personally hunt you down_**

_**DISCLAIMER: What Sasori said!**_ But not the killing threat...even though it was interesting.

HI HO ON WE GO!

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**Last time with our uhm...heros? (I guess xD fails as an author)

* * *

**

**SOMEWHERE IN THE DISTANCE**

"I'm so going to kill that fucking jerk!" a woman screamed while staring at the window to the room of where Sakura and Sasori were in.

**[A/N] WHOA OH BITCH ALERT XD**

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Sakura's POV

My ears perked a bit when I heard a very annoying shrill shriek outside of my window. I wanted to dismiss it but i couldn't help but peak out from my window to see a very loud shade of red piercing my retinas. "Oh sweet..dear..Kami-sama give me strength." I said out loud since I just couldn't find the right words.

"What is it Saki?" Sasori asked with concern as he moved to my side at the window.

"Holy.." he started

"Shit..." I finished.

We quickly moved from the window and looked at each other sharply.

"WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?" we both asked.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT SHE'S DOING HERE?"we shrieked again in unison

"I ASKED YOU FIRST"we retorted

"DONT YOU DARE START WITH ME"we threatened

"UGH" we quickly dismissed it as we were out of breath. I looked out the window again to see the fire ant head fake bombshell pacing my front lawn. What the hell did she want. I quickly found out.

"Sa-so-ri!" she squealed. To me she sounded like a strangled cat. Where are you. I hope you aren't with that pink fungus!" she said while taking a glance at my window.

My cheeks flushed with anger. Fungus huh.. I'll show her. I quickly opened my window and screamed. "At least my carpet matches the drapes you sack of dung beetle droppngs!" I smiled when I saw her mouth agaped signaling she was beginning a comeback. I turned around signaling my triumph

"Well you could kiss my ass for all I care!" She shrieked.

"Oh that's an ass? I thought it was a mound of pure saturated fat!" I called over my shoulder.

"At least I have tits!" She hollared.

My temper was wearing thin. I looked at Sasori with piercing jade eyes. "You tell me what she's doing here or so help me I will lunge at your throat." My chakra was spiraling around my fists.

Sasori sighed. "Saki I have no idea what she's doing here." he tried to say passively his dried blood color eyes looked dark and glazed as if he were recollecting something.

"Aww..does the little Flat Chest doesn't want to fight with the big girl anymore?" she teased. Oh I am so done with her. In underwear or not I leapt out of the window and lunged at her.

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Sasori's POV

"Oh Kami-sama. Why is she here?" I pondered while looking at Sakura's infuriated form.

"Saki calm down. She isn't worth the effort." I said calmly while trying to sort out any reasons to what Karin would hunt me down.

"She has one more shot if she pisses me off she's as good as pulp." She seethed, her eyes bore into mine with anger.

It was as if the Gods were playing a trick on us because Karin said something no one would dare say to Sakura. 'Flat Chest'. It was as if everything was playing at half the normal speed because I had to take a double take. Sakura leap out of the window.

"Die you whore!" she shrieked while lunging for the poor unprepared girl. I heard a painful thud as both of their bodies collided with the concrete below them. I know as much as I'd love to see Saki pummel someone into a blob of pulp I'll have to end it now. I outstretched my hand in order for strands of chakra to latch onto Sakura. I sighed. _Goodness this woman will be the death of someone very soon._I thought as I yanked her body back into the room.

"I'll kill you Karen!" Sakura spat.

"Not until I kill you first! Just wait until school tomorrow!" came Karen's heated reply.

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DUN DUN DUNNNN! TO BE CONTINUED.

Heh...I post this so you guys wouldn't think I died. Oh yeah...I posted this in celebration of my graduation..I'M FREE TO WRITE MORE STORIES! *Gets shot


	7. Chapter 7 Your Dirty Little Secret

L.P: My goodness I AM SOOOOO LAZY

Sasuke: Yes you are.

L.P.: What are you doing in here?

Sasuke: Hn...I thought you'd like a visit from me.

L.P.: Riiiight. There's tomatos in the fridge...

-Watches Sasuke leave-

L.P:Hmm...I guess I can make some weird filler chapter today...

L.P:ANYWHO! I need someone to do my disclaimer...hmm...Sasori is too busy...

-Poof- RAMEN!

L.P.: Oh my gosssssh. 8D Hi Naruto!

Naruto: I heard you need someone to do your disclaimer! May I?

L.P.: HECK YEA!

Naruto: Kage Bunshin Jutsu!

Naruto(s): **_Lil'Pervert does not own Naruto. That's us! She just uses us for your amusement. We rightfully belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Lil'Pervert also doesn't own the song Chocolate DiSCO by Perfume. That song rightfully belongs to them...Oh PLEASE DON'T MIND THE FOUL LANGUAGE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T. MIND. IT. _**

Naruto: NOW THEN RAMEN TIME!

L.P.: Way ahead of you!

Naruto: All right! -Holding two steaming bowls of ramen-

L.P. and Naruto: Itadakimasu!

L.P. MMM...Happy 4th of July xD.

Naruto: GAHHHH MY TONGUE!

**DISCLAIMER: WHAT THE NARUTOS SAID.**

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**Previously on He's a Cowboy Casanova...**

"Die you whore!" she shrieked while lunging for the poor unprepared girl. I heard a painful thud as both of their bodies collided with the concrete below them. I know as much as I'd love to see Saki pummel someone into a blob of pulp I'll have to end it now. I outstretched my hand in order for strands of chakra to latch onto Sakura. I sighed. _Goodness this woman will be the death of someone very soon._I thought as I yanked her body back into the room.

"I'll kill you Karen!" Sakura spat.

"Not until I kill you first! Just wait until school tomorrow!" came Karen's heated reply.

* * *

Currently...

Sakura would you stop fumming for five minutes?" came an annoyed scorpion.

"Are you kidding me? She's so asking for it. How dare she come to my house, my property better than that and threaten me?" The bubble gum colored vixen retorted sharply to her lover.

"Saki...look we'll figure something out...," Sakura's chartreuse eyes flashed challenging him to say something. "Better yet I'll figure out something...to get Karin off our asses.."

"Sasori what does she want with you?" Sakura inquired.

"It's...I don't know. A tangled mess I should say." Sasori worded his response as best as he could...to avoid a certain kunochi's chakra fulled fists.

Sakura stared at Sasori still processing what he said. "Grrrrraaaaaah!" She screamed ruffling her hair.

"Sakura!" Sasori shouted losing his cool.

"WHAT?" responded a flustered cherry blossom, utterly shocked that Sasori said her actual name and not her pet name. "Why was she here?, Huh?" Sakura continued to pester the poor puppet master for 15 minutes straight with no previal.

"_You know...you could just wait for tomorrow_" came her Inner. "Since when were you the sensible thinker?" Sakura asked herself. "_Since just now, so shut up_." "It was nice while it lasted." Sakura sighed.

Feeling horribly guilty Sakura glanced at Sasori, she didn't really mean to poke and prod into his buisness...but come on! This is Karen we're talking about here! She just literally trespassed onto her property.

"Sasori...", Sakura started. Sasori sighed at glanced her "Yeah Saki?" Sakura instantly exhaled a breath she didn't know she was carrying.

**[A/N: GAH!]**

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**Sakura's POV**

I had no idea I was holding in such a breath. What a relief he called me Saki. I have to be in the clear after my meltdown.

"Look Sasori", she started. "We'll figure this out together okay?" She asked brightly, despite the fact that the situation was obviously aggravating her.

"Fine Saki" Sasori replied defeated and completely worn out. I watched him crumple on my bed and within seconds he was asleep. I sighed and saw myself in the mirror. Man...I need to take a shower.

I shuffled throughout my room looking for that towel of mine. I looked on my bed and Sasori was sleeping on it. "Crap." I said swiftly to myself. An idea hatched in my head and I quickly did some signs. Horse. Ox. Sheep. Burrito. **[A/N: Heh heh... :3]** I quickly pulled the towel from underneath the sleeping body. I sighed and walked out of my room to make a quick right turn into my bathroom.

I turned on the light to see something I prayed to Kami I would never have to see again. It was a disgusting creepy crawling Cockroach! I swallowed the urge to scream and run for my dear life. _"Come on you're a kunochi for Kami's sake! An awesome one at that!"_ My Inner screamed at me. Right! I replied. Man...I need to stop talking to myself. "I heard that!" Inner retorted. I took a deep breath. Summoning all of my courage. I am going to totally own that roach. My fist started to glow as I cocked it back **[A/N: Man this word is popping up a lot...oh ho ho ho~!]** It was like everything happened in slow motion. As soon as I was going to make contact with the roach it flew...IT FUCKING FLEW! I screamed as my fist contacted the wall.

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Sasori's POV

I awoke with a start. It all felt like an earthquake! Something's wrong with Sakura I can feel it...literally. I quickly got up and followed the sounds of her screaming, only to find miles among miles of debris. I sighed and pulled my sweats up a little** [A/N: Since when did he put clothes back on!] **"Oh man what happened this time?" I sighed when I saw a poor roach flying away for its life, from none other than my Saki.

"Saki", I started. "DIE YOU PITIFUL EXCUSE FOR A LIVING ORGANISM!" Sakura was screaming, practically drowning out my calls.

"Saki!" I said louder, but she was still screaming. I grumbled, searched for a jar and waited for the roach to fly my way.

"SAKURA!" I shouted causing her to halt her efforts. Once that happened the offending bug flew into my jar and I quickly screwed it shut, while perforating holes in the lid I watched Sakura try to catch a breath.

"Are you okay?" I asked her while chuckling. She took a quick gasp of air before answering me with a quick "Yeah, sure."

"Saso.." My ears perked at the familiar whine. "Yes, Saki?"

I watched walk up to me with mild curiosity. 'What could she possibly be planning?' I thought to myself. Before I knew it the jar was flung out of the window and smashed with a sickening crunch onto the pavement. When I took a peak out the window I saw a tiny crater. Poor roach...I audiably sighed at her behavior.

I was just about to say something when I heard a phone ringing...I wasn't surprised when I heard the 'Chocolate DiSCO' ringtone blaring in the background when I looked at Saki she was busy dancing her way around all the debris to her phone. I was chuckling while I managed to follow her back to her room.

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**Sakura's POV**

"Moshi Moshi?" Sakura answered.

"Why hello my dear." ?

"E-excuse me?" Sakura roared into the cell phone reciever

"I've heard what you've been doing with a certain someone and it would be tragic for the school to know about it.." ? drawled into the reciever

"Impossible." Sakura groaned.

"Dead. Serious." ? replied.

"Wait...who are you?" Sakura demanded to know

"I can't believe you don't recognize my voice after all the pining after me..?" ? said, Sakura could practically see the smirk beyond the phone call.

"Sasuke..." Sakura realized.

"Exactly right my dear now then...be a dear and meet me at the side of the school tomorrow before class starts." Sasuke requested.

"W-what for?" Sakura's cool completely diminished.

"We wouldn't want that dirty little secret slipping of you sleeping with a certain red head now would we?" Sasuke was slowly luring her in.

"No of course not...so tomorrow after school?" Sakura responded with little confidence.

"It's a date." Sasuke replied before the line went dead.

Sakura dropped the phone and sunk to the floor of her room.

"Saki?...Is something wrong?" Sasori asked concern showing in his eyes.

"S-Sasuke he knows..." Sakura managed to get out.

"The Uchiha? The son of my boss? Sasuke Uchiha?" Sasori pressed.

"Y-yeah...he knows about us...what are we going to do?" Sakura said choking back sobs.

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**DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN.**

Haaaaaaaa~! **Cliff hanger**.

Oh you know I love you guys...WHAT WILL SASORI AND SAKURA DO NOW THAT THEIR SECRET IS ON THE LINE? WHO TOLD SASUKE? HOW DID HE FIND OUT? WHAT WILL HE DO? WILL I EVER GET A CHOCOLATE BAR?

Stay tuned for another annoying episode of He's a Cowboy Casanova!

And leave a couple of reviews while you're at it. I'll promise a lemon when this is all figured out! :D


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